Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Cousins

As the disparity between fair and dark skin grows on my body, I keep wondering to myself whether it is hitam manis (dark and sweet), or hitam hodoh (dark and ugly). It’s this thing about getting fitter that eludes me. I keep trying, and I keep slipping! I keep coming back, and I keep going away. It’s time to take a stand. So, I’ve been furiously working out in the pool. I do my laps, I feel good. I eat some more. I do my laps again. I feel even better, I eat even more. Or something like that. In the midst of it all, I manage to shed a few pounds, and get a new skin. Hitam manis, I hope. Skin cancer, stay the heck away! Where’s the sunscreen?

As the weeks roll by, I have been watching myself slowly turn into this dark thing that I used to be when the pool was just built. Father built a pool in our front garden when I was nine. With that, basketball, badminton, and just playing jadi (‘tag’) and jumping rope quickly went out the window. Slowly I lost the company of all my girlfriends who would usually come over on the weekends for playdates. In came my boisterous cousins. All boys. My cousins and I had a standing Friday date. It was pool day. We’d fool around, swim laps, and play water polo. My father was the champion of these activities.

Various cousins came and went but there were three in particular who were the kaki polo (polo regulars). They were all older than me. I was the youngest one. Yeah, I had a good time!! Ben was my favorite cousin. Not because of anything special he did. He was just more talkative, more interactive and he was what we call in Kelantan-speak, cendeng. (This word has many meanings, but in this context, I mean smart-ass). We teased each other a lot. The other two regulars were Harry and Lando. Harry was very shy and quiet, but agreeable, almost all the time. Lando was unpredictable. He was talkative one day, and brooding the next.

We’d set up goals on both ends of the pool. It was our version of water polo. We didn’t tread water like you see in the Olympics. It’s a small pool, and it’s shallow. We’d divvy ourselves up into two teams and fight to the end! Sometimes the shenanigans would start in the morning, and we’d have lunch at the pool. Something our fathers ta pau (carry out) from somewhere. Then we’d play through till tea time, when we come out intermittently to snack on fig rolls and Nice biscuits or mmmm, bourbon creams. There was even soda!! And on, till the bats come for a taste of pool water. Then we're out of there.

Those days were heaven. We learned how to swim in this little pool. We bonded. Those years of playing polo together and just fooling around. But where are we all today? Some of us are still living close to each other. We barely communicate unless there’s a family event. Some of us are far away, like me. We’re all not in Kelantan anymore. Harry and Ben are in KL, each successful in his field. Lando is somewhere in China, chasing his dream. I’m in the States, doing my own thing, and probably the least accomplished professionally.

Whenever I visit KL, I want to make sure I see all my relatives there, if only to get together to say Hi, who are these children and what are their names? My relatives are many. Most of them had migrated to KL many moons ago. So the extended family is mostly there.

This last visit to KL was phenomenal. Harry’s wife, who shares my name, organized the gathering. Everybody showed up. Even cousins I didn’t know before showed up. And they cooked impressive dishes. Our Hainanese clan is thriving. There were some new children to meet too. I can’t remember their names now though! I need a notebook next time. Note to self..where'll I write this note down?

Zoe bonded with her 2nd cousins and I reconnected with my cousins. While we’re talking about the economy and how bad it is, I’m observing and noticing the changes between then and now. Oh how this cousin has aged, and that cousin has turned neurotic (ooh, maybe she was always like that), and how another has not changed one bit in appearance or demeanour. Lucky bitch! hah!

Ben drives a spanking new car, company sponsored. He’s a fitness fiend, having lost all his chubbiness from his teenage years. He’s handsome and smart and utterly loaded. Still a bachelor. Harry has a wonderful wife, two cute girls whom Zoe adores, and a little boy who is the centre of attention. Lando wasn’t there. Last I heard, he was enjoying the good life, having just bought a yacht with some of his friends.

These cousins featured so much in my childhood. Every single one of them, but especially Ben, Harry and Lando. I’m glad that their finding their stride in life. Or at least they seem to have found their stride. How easy is it to tell from just a fleeting visit? Who knows? It’s all an impression. We don't have time to sit down and have a heart to heart. We've all grown apart over the years.

I’ll ponder that when I do my next 100 laps. With copious amounts of sunscreen!

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