Friday, October 29, 2010

Fall back into place

It's actually a nice time to be back in the Midwest. Autumn foliage is absolutely beautiful here. The leaves start to change color, my life is changing gears; the leaves start to fall, my life sort of goes a bit barer.  No familial sounds of Malaysia.  The noise, the people, the traffic. All is quiet here.  The only sound is the monkey who lives in the house, the one who doesn't stop howling, chattering and whining.  The old routine is hard to fall back into yet hard to break.  Food is no longer fun, it's a chore.  Time is no longer precious, it's laborious.  Peppered around the routine are tiny peaks of energy and activity that make it go easier. And of course the other half and Zoe make it bearable.

Having said all that, it's not all bad.  If I don't sit around a computer and think about it and write about it, I just don't think about it.  I look for the positives, move on and do the best I can to keep my family and me happy.  So, I try not to think about politics, the economy or the state of our debt!  There, I'm covered.  Now what's left is taking care of the household (food: boring, cleaning: don't want to do it but have to, finances: don't want to go there), teaching Zoe what the school isn't and keeping myself entertained with prime-time TV. That's dumbing it down, for sure!

I can't help but think this isn't the place I will settle down for the rest of my life. St. Louis has been my other home for a good fifteen years and I should be used to this place.  I am but I am not. I like that this place is not so big that you can be anywhere in about 35-45 minutes, know a good number of people to make your life easier and not so small that everybody knows your business.  It's a nice-sized city.  It also has a huge asset in Forest Park.  This is a huge park in the city that houses the St. Louis Art Museum (free every day, special exhibits free on Fridays), St. Louis Science Centre (also free every day, except for certain special activities/exhibits and IMAX), the world-class St. Louis Zoo (which is also FREE!!) and a whole host of other museums and attractions that are available to the public at a fraction of the cost it is anywhere else in US.   It's a great place for Zoe to grow up.  The suburbs are nice, each with its own 'flavor'.  The public schools in our area are supposedly good. I'm only saying supposedly because I haven't seen much from her Kindergarten yet, but their reputation is good.

So why do I feel so disconnected from here sometimes?  I have me plenty of friends and acquaintances, neighbors, old work contacts and clients.  People are nice enough even if they don't always attempt to understand my culture or me.  But one can't expect people to give a damn, so that's not it.  It'll be the same anywhere I go.  Maybe I have "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome?  Hmmm, that could be it!! Oh well, it's not something I have to figure out tonight.

I guess I'll fall back into my routine, sweep my thoughts and dreams under the proverbial rug for now and get on with the daily activities.  Till the next time I ponder it again.